Are you one of those people who spends hours on end just
browsing through social media apps? Because I am. And since you probably
stumbled across this blog post through a Facebook page, let me just assume that
you do too.
The adults (in particular) of our generation seem to be
hounding us to stop using our phones so much. I think, I hear the following
phrases at least 5 times a day: ranging from “Put down your phone and go do
something useful”, “stop wasting your time on Facebook and chatting” to even “One
day, your fingers are going to become crippled and defunct from all those hours
you waste on your phone.” Well, as much as we hate to admit it, these adults
are right. We do waste A LOT of time on our phones. We often try to convince
ourselves that we are tapping away on WhatsApp to keep up with our friends or
scrolling through twitter to keep up with the world, but for the majority of
the time all we are doing is straining our eyes to stare at an illuminated
screen while our brain tries to process the shitload of (mostly) useless
information we present to it.
I am sure many of us can agree on the fact that the first
thing we do when we wake up (maybe after brushing your teeth) is check our
phones for notifications. The last thing we do before going to bed is browse
through our phones. We sleep with our phones right next to us. Even when we are
socializing or hanging out with our friends, it seems as though we struggle
without our phones at arm’s reach. Because without our phones, we cannot
document every single detail that is happening. Whether it is posting a
cinematographic picture on Instagram or posting a video on snapchat, most of us
feel the incessant need to document all the fun stuff happening to us. And for
what reason? Sure maybe we just want to keep a make memories and thread a story
on our profile, but it is also because we want all those likes and comments.
Who doesn’t want to be complimented for taking “the perfect selfie”? Who
doesn’t want to make their peers envious of a recent exotic trip to Greece?
That craving for all the likes and attention is exactly what
is hurting our minds. It makes us feel insecure and anxious whenever we post
something new. Our goal is to constantly top the number of likes incurred on
the previous post and if that doesn’t happen, there are serious blows to our
self-esteem. You may feel that you aren’t loved enough by your friends and
family or you may feel that you aren’t getting enough attention as you
expected. We feel like we are not living wholesome lives when we see our
friends travelling a lot or we feel like we’re missing out if we haven’t
watched the latest movie or attended the latest concert. Ultimately, our
reality becomes distorted because of these unrealistic expectations we form
seeing other people’s picture-perfect lives. It is so important to remember
that the pictures/stories we see on social media are hand-picked and
glamourized and therefore not accurate representations of real life. Once we
realize that our lives are great as they are and not inadequate because we
missed out on a trip (for example), we can feel much better about ourselves!
Sometimes, we see mean and derogatory comments on social
networking sites and we may feel a sense of angst or hurt. We may get offended
when we see dumb jokes or trolls that intend to poke fun (be it a religion, a
person, a movie or whatever) and in effect, we become butthurt from comments
made by total strangers. It may difficult to ignore them, but we should
remember how petty these commenters are being. Their lives behind the screen
are probably totally different to how they project it to us on-screen. It is
best to ignore these comments and move on with our lives – if we can’t put them
in their places.
Another adverse effect of social media on our mindsets is
how we develop a FOMO. A fear of missing out. This is obviously the reason why
we check our accounts up to a staggering 10 times a day. And when we do, we are
disappointed to see that there isn’t much new on our newsfeeds. But, the answer
to the question, “why is social media so addictive?” is simple enough.
Self-disclosure activates the same part of our brain that lights up when you
take cocaine or any other recreational/stimulating drug. In other words, self-disclosure
activates the same part of the brain that is associated with pleasure – the
same pleasure we receive from eating the food we like or receiving money. The
activation of these pleasure zones is even greater when people are told they
have an audience.
However addicting these online platforms may be, there is
always a way to take a step back and clear your mind. I recently did a phone
detox. I should honestly say that was the most peaceful week of my life, ever
since I got a phone. I had no access to Instagram, twitter, whatsapp, buzzfeed
etc… and I forced myself not to view these sites on my laptop or PC. That was
easy enough because once you are used to the comfort of your phone, it seems
like a hassle to login on your laptop. Anyway, the biggest refreshment I found
during that one week (although my fingers seemed to be facing a deficiency of
tapping away on the screen) is that I felt relaxed and I didn’t bother about
what others were doing with their time, at all. Because I didn’t know where so and
so went or what so and so did, I didn’t have that lacking feeling. I
concentrated only on myself for the first time in years. Somewhere along the
way, I became a slave to my phone and to these sites and I felt free, even if
it were for a short time, when I just put them away. Sure, it is not very easy
to do it if you expect a lot of calls every day or if you require you phone to
make transactions etc… but there are always self-control apps that block the
function of all the downloaded apps on your phone. I highly recommend doing
this detox occasionally, because it declutters your mind and rejuvenates your
thought process. There is a great feeling from being disconnected to something
that shouldn’t be causing you so much stress.
You may point out the irony of this blog post. “You say all
these things yet you are using Facebook to share your thoughts.” Yeah you are
right. But the thing is, sometimes you have to use fire to fight fire. I cannot
put across this message to the people I want to say this to unless I say it on
a platform that everyone is bound to check at least once a day. You don’t have to follow this advice even
though I highly recommend it out of personal experience. Nevertheless, maybe
today will be the day you decide to toss your phone out for a while. If you’re
looking for some change and some decluttering in your life, don’t wait any
longer! Just go for it!
--V
*I am not rude, I am outspoken.
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