What Being a Feminist Really Means

Feminism: Noun: Feminism is a range of movements and ideologies that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve equal political, economic, cultural, personal, and social rights for women. This includes seeking to establish opportunities for women in education and employment on the grounds of the equality of the sexes.

Now that you have read the definition, I hope that all your misconceptions about this commonly misused word are cleared. Feminism, like most new, badly “translated” words (Netflix and chill, anyone?) is under fire. It pops up every now and then on our Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr feeds and leaves us confused and confounded. In the age of social media where so many opinions and experiences exist, perspectives will vary. And while this may often lead to misunderstanding, conflict and even hatred, it is important to put yourself in another person’s shoes and understand the situation fully before you have fixed opinions. Contrary to popular notions, feminists do not want to strip men of their power or jobs. We (as I am a feminist and proud of it) are here to enable equal rights for both the genders. Many a times, men especially like to berate or point out the fact that feminists “hate” men. Fighting for women’s rights has become too synonymous with man-hating. Why does that opinion even come up? Because feminists merely want women to be able to be credible engineers and scientists and not just tokens? Because women, like men, should have the right to choose a career over marriage? Because a woman’s clothing shouldn’t determine her character? Because women simply want the same rights as the men have? Why should loving and standing up for yourself be equivalent to hating someone else?

In order to avoid confusion and unnecessary conflict, it is important to differentiate the roles of a feminist and a feminazi. A feminazi is a sexist and a feminist is a person who believes in equality of the genders. So while feminists believe in equal rights for us, the feminazis just make us look stupid. The feminazis want women to have more rights than men do. Feminazis want women to have more power than men do.  Feminazis are the ones that think all men are ‘idiots’ and that women need “women only” spaces in a man-dominating world. And ultimately they want that space to become the world. Feminazis are the ones that want change yet refuse forward progression. The purpose of feminism is to bring about parity, not bias.

Feminism, simply and synonymously put, is a spiritual, physical and virtual movement that promises equal respect at all frontiers for both men and women. Why do we even need feminism? Because every time a woman gets paid less for doing the same work a man gets paid more for, its unjust. We need feminism because every time a woman is sexually assaulted and is asked to keep quiet about or is even blamed for the assault (as she was wearing ‘provocative clothes’), it is unjust that the perpetrator is able to roam free of charges (in most cases). And to everyone pulling the “this is real feminism, not (insert here)” argument: Women who are fighting for economic equality are feminists. Women who are pushing back against patriarchal traditions are feminists. Women who are fighting against double-standards, slut-shaming and rape culture are also feminists. Women who take issue with degrading lyrics are also feminists. Women who fight in any way to be seen as equals to men… are feminists. And guess what? Men who want equality between the genders are also feminists.

When anyone believes in the equality of the sexes, there are so many things that can entail.  You may be thinking (or better put, maybe you can’t think) of issues where women face inequality.  Even in developed countries, women are at a disadvantage when it comes to salary, especially at the workplace. It is estimated that a woman earns only 77% of what a man earns in the same position. At this rate, it may take up to 45 years to eliminate the wage gap. As Jennifer Lawrence refreshingly, honestly, and humorously said: “It’s hard for me to speak about my experience as a working woman because I can safely say my problems aren’t exactly relatable. I failed as a negotiator because I gave up early. I realized every man I was working with definitely didn’t worry about being ‘difficult’ or ‘spoiled’.” Yes, while it may not seem like a pressing issue in a coveted and large industry like Hollywood or even Bollywood, the wage gap is definitely worrying in less rich fields. There are many other such blasphemous issues such as women in Africa and Asia being married before the legal age of 18, discriminatory divorce rights, unequal legal rights and even access to education.

I like the saying that it is fun being a woman in a man’s world because after all we can wear the pants but the men can’t wear dresses. However, I can’t say the its fun in other situations. When a man acts like a leader, he is called a boss. But when a woman takes control and is bossy, she is called a bitch. I beg to differ. It is more like she is being in total control of herself. However, there is also a problem with making a big fuss whenever a woman achieves something. By making it seem like a big deal, not only does it bolster the gap between the genders but also does it make it seem like it’s a rare or surprising feat. So how about saying “She is important and she is a woman” instead of saying “She is important because she is a woman.” I don’t see articles on ’25 badass male characters’ or ’25 men who are changing the world’… so I must ask, why is it such a big deal if a woman accomplishes the same thing a man does, but only the woman’s feat is publicized as if out of the ordinary?

When we talk about gender equality, it is important to remember that there are equally pressing issues for men also. As eloquently and aptly put by Emma Watson in her speech for the #HeForShe campaign, at the UN headquarters back in 2014, feminism is not just for women. We don’t often speak about men imprisoned by gender stereotypes but they do exist. Fathers are not given nearly as much credit in the upbringing of a child and this is especially clear since paternity leaves are much much shorter than maternity leaves (at most firms). Men suffering from mental illness are scared to talk to people about it or bring it up publicly in fear of how of being seen as less of a man. It is even considered a sign of weakness if a man cries. That is completely ridiculous! Men should be allowed to be sensitive. Women should be allowed to be strong and independent. When girls are allowed to wear blue then what is wrong with a boy liking pink?

“If feminism isn’t powerful, if feminism isn’t influential, people wouldn’t spend so much time putting it down” – Jessica Valenti. I think that pretty much sums up what feminism is really all about. It’s a movement that preaches impartiality. That’s it. Not so complicated now is it?

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*I am not rude. I am outspoken.