What is Intersectional Feminism?

You’ve probably heard the latest internet buzzword (is buzzphrase a thing?), ‘intersectional feminism’. It must be popping up on your timelines and news alerts and what not. Day by day, more people are starting to identify as intersectional feminists because there is an increase in awareness about this movement. The term was coined by Kimberle Crenshaw. In her insightful 1989 essay, Crenshaw uses a simple analogy to concretize the concept:

Consider an analogy to traffic in an intersection, coming and going in all four directions. Discrimination, like traffic through an intersection, may flow in one direction, and it may flow in another. If an accident happens in an intersection, it can be caused by cars traveling from any number of directions and, sometimes, from all of them. Similarly, if a Black woman is harmed because she is in an intersection, her injury could result from sex discrimination or race discrimination. . . . But it is not always easy to reconstruct an accident: Sometimes the skid marks and the injuries simply indicate that they occurred simultaneously, frustrating efforts to determine which driver caused the harm.

Although it has been 28 years since the term was first used, it has crept into the mainstream debate surrounding feminism only a few years ago. Understandably, this is why many are still unaware or confused about it.

To elaborate on intersectional feminism, it is important to understand the most fundamental idea about intersectionality: there is no one-size-fits-all type of feminism. Intersectionality tries to bring about the idea that the identity comprises of several component identities, which include but are not limited to, gender, race, nationality, ethnicity, class, sexuality, age, religion, mental and physical disabilities etc… Intersectionality proposes that all of these identities are not independent but rather interdependent and linked to one another. Certain groups of women have multi-layered facets in life that they deal with on a daily-basis. For example, an able-bodied heterosexual white woman has a completely different point of view about feminism than does a bisexual, paraplegic African-American black skinned woman. It is very essential that mainstream feminism evolves to include ideas from women from all spheres of life. If it remains stagnant, the movement will become fragmented and be less effective.

With multiple identities come multiple privileges and even multiple oppressions. There are many studies and instances which show that women who come from minorities are more likely to be subjected to these oppressions. Non-heterosexual women are more susceptible to hatred and verbal abuse. Economically disadvantaged women, women of colour and uneducated women are more vulnerable to poverty, domestic abuse and other forms of violence. Transwomen are often ignored or subjected to hate-based violence. Being a part of the minority leads to many challenges. If the mainstream conversation of feminism doesn’t account for the women who are at a greater comparative risk of facing discrimination, we aren’t accounting for all women and so the idea of feminism is by definition, not proper.

Although ‘white feminism’ is a more colloquial and slightly derogative term to use, it is the kind of feminism that most teens are exposed to on the media. The Urban Dictionary defines white feminism as “A brand of feminism centered around the ideals and struggles of primarily white women. While not outright exclusive, its failure to consider other women and its preoccupation with Western standards and the problems faced by the “average woman” is often alienating to women of color, non-straight women, trans women, and women belonging to religious or cultural minorities.” While this type of feminism raises questions about certain issues regarding gender equality, like equal pay, it fails to pay attention to other issues which are not separate from the conversation, such as trans-women’s rights, cultural appropriation and disability rights. It erases the experiences of minority women who are not white, heterosexual and cis-gendered.  It also imposes tight boundaries around what it means to be a woman and a feminist.

Intersectional feminism is extremely necessary in this day age where there is rampant globalization and an increase in diversity around the world. This movement is not just about breaking glass ceilings but also making the world a better place for women in all spheres of their life.

--V

*I am not rude. I am outspoken.

References:

1.       http://isreview.org/issue/91/black-feminism-and-intersectionality

2.       https://philpapers.org/archive/CREDTI.pdf

3.       http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/10572435/Intersectional-feminism.-What-the-hell-is-it-And-why-you-should-care.html

Disney's Gender Portrayals

This article was originally written for and published by The Red Elephant Foundation. 

http://www.redelephantfoundation.org/2017/04/disneys-gender-portrayals.html

Disney’s animated princess films are perhaps one of the first movies that a young child, born in the millennial generation, would watch. I, myself, remember growing up with classics like Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, the Little Mermaid and Mulan. When I re-watched them as a teen, I found myself completely horrified by the portrayal of young adult women and men. I found myself really thinking about the stories and the ideas they project to the viewers and I was left upset and appalled because the movies had been ruined for me.

Snow White projected to viewers that being fair-skinned makes you the most beautiful. Sleeping Beauty showed a prince falling in love with a woman solely based on her looks (this is evidenced by the fact that he kisses Aurora while she is in a ‘sleep-like-death’). In Cinderella, the prince sets out to marry the woman whose foot fits into a dainty and delicate glass heels because apparently, he can’t remember the personality or even the face of the woman he danced all night with. Jasmine and other women in ‘Aladdin’ perpetuated the stereotype that brown-skinned women are feisty, animalistic and sexual – a vast majority of the women were shown wearing racy clothes and dancing seductively. These cases described send out a dangerous message to young girls and boys watching: the message that a woman’s looks are her most important asset and that physical appearance is the only thing a boy will look for in a girl.

Another common character trope portrayed in many Disney films is that a woman’s personality is binary. The heroine, often young/adolescent, is frail, gentle, kind-hearted, beautiful, loved by all, extremely feminine, domestic and sensitive. On the other end of the spectrum lie the villains: middle-aged woman portrayed to be vile, cunning, wicked, ill-hearted, unpleasant to look at and downright unlikeable. For example, Mother Gothel (Rapunzel), Ursula (The Little Mermaid) and the wicked Queen (Snow White) all fit into the aforementioned category. They have been called Disney's femme fatales (powerful woman defined by their sexuality). The step-mother and step-sisters from Cinderella are also significant examples that exist to act as foils to the protagonist’s character. All of these ‘evil’ women serve the purpose of making the innocent, naïve heroine look like a charming damsel in distress – one who is perfect to be wooed and one who stands out amongst the other gaudy women. They also make it seem like a woman is either ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and that there is no in between.

There are, however, two Disney princess stories, such as Mulan and Pocahontas, that go against the traditional mold and portray the female leads as independent women. Throughout the movie, Mulan is constantly breaking stereotypes either by enlisting herself in her father’s place in the army (albeit disguised as a man) or only considering marriage because it brings honor to her family. The romance between Mulan, and her love interest, Li Shang is placed on the backburner to emphasize her bravery and autonomy. One of Disney’s native American characters, Pocahontas is displayed as a loyal, noble and wise-beyond-her age woman. Loosely inspired by the historical figure, Pocahontas has an integral role in preventing the war between the British and native Americans by using her shamanic powers. Like Belle (from Beauty and the Beast) and Mulan, Pocahontas does not believe that marriage is her eventual fate, although she doesn’t reject it altogether.

Of course, progress cannot be made overnight. It is made through long periods of evolutionary thinking and Disney has been somewhat changing the cards on its table. Recent films released by Disney and its subsidiary, Pixar, have been more diverse in terms of characters and storylines. The films also see a departure in romantic plot-lines for the heroines – instead giving the arcs of self-discovery and spirited passion. Brave put a new and much needed spin on the classic princess story. Fans and audiences were delighted to see that Disney’s idea of beauty (long, flowing hair, doe-eyes, dazzling smile, hour-glass figure) had been given a make-over and replaced with a more realistic image of a woman. Merida, Brave’s princess, had messy and tangled curly, a freckled face devoid of makeup, a torn dress as a result of days spent practicing archery, riding horses and climbing rocks. Merida’s frame was gangly, awkward and everything a pre-teen and teen girl embodies. On screen, she showed discomfort in being stuffed into a slimming corset and curve-accentuating dress. Her gait was not ‘princess-like’ but very comical and free. Furthermore, her goal was not to find a husband but rather to find herself and mend her relationship with her mother. Merida was so widely accepted by audiences (clearly showing that the 21^st century viewers demand something different from Disney’s long withstanding character stereotypes) that a vastly popular petition caused the writers to revert back to the version we see on screen, after a short stint in trying to ‘beautify’ Merida by making her adhere to the unrealistic body expectations that Disney is known to promote. Disney’s most recent release Moana, is another proof that when Disney breaks away from the status-quo, it receives acclaim from both critics and viewers.  Sporting a healthy and lean figure (as opposed to hour-glass like curves), Moana disliked being called a princess, never accepts the limits imposed upon her by her family and also takes on Maui’s (the demigod) destiny of restoring the ‘Heart of the Sea’ into her own hands. Marriage or even relationships are never even mentioned in this movie wherein the heroine gains confidence and spearheads battles against her enemies most of all her self-doubt. Moana proved to be a very relevant and necessary movie for Disney wherein a POC (person of colour) is given the leading role and isn’t reduced to a sidekick.

The discussion surrounding Disney’s portrayal of gender stereotypes would be incomplete without exploring the image of the various male characters. Gaston (from Beauty and the Beast) is the typical ‘manly man’: tall, white, burlesque, hairy and muscular, commanding the attention of all the maidens in Belle’s village. Often, the main male characters are given small, sometimes fat and witty comic-relief sidekicks (eg. Le Fou, Timon and Pumba) who serve as foils to the masculinity of the ‘hero’. These sidekicks are given ‘feminine’ qualities like offering advice to the hero, motivating him are often more sensitive and caring.  In fact, most Disney princess films portray the men as the ultimate ‘saviours’ (case in point: Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, The Little Mermaid). This perpetuates the notion that women need to be saved and that men always need to save which is harmful for both male and female characters. It also brings in the idea that men are ‘superior’ to women because they possess a higher skill-set and have qualities that women do not.

Ultimately, Disney’s long enduring legacy of princess films have been showing various stereotypes that have only recently been broken. When Disney can diversify their characters, storylines and themes, they produce films that are not only open minded, but also progressive. The new wave of Disney animated films gives modern-age audiences hope for a more widespread and globalized approach to film making.

-V

* I am not rude. I am outspoken.

References:

1.       Gender & Pop Culture - Adrienne Trier-Bieniek and Patricia Leavy (Eds.)

2.       https://mic.com/articles/88167/9-harmful-stereotypes-we-never-realized-our-favorite-disney-movies-taught-us#.1QuxIL0Kf

3.       https://www.families.com/blog/a-study-in-princesses-pocahontas-and-mulan

4.       http://princess.disney.com/

5.       https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disney_Princess

6.       https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moana_(2016_film)

Effects of Social Media on Our Mindsets

Are you one of those people who spends hours on end just browsing through social media apps? Because I am. And since you probably stumbled across this blog post through a Facebook page, let me just assume that you do too.

The adults (in particular) of our generation seem to be hounding us to stop using our phones so much. I think, I hear the following phrases at least 5 times a day: ranging from “Put down your phone and go do something useful”, “stop wasting your time on Facebook and chatting” to even “One day, your fingers are going to become crippled and defunct from all those hours you waste on your phone.” Well, as much as we hate to admit it, these adults are right. We do waste A LOT of time on our phones. We often try to convince ourselves that we are tapping away on WhatsApp to keep up with our friends or scrolling through twitter to keep up with the world, but for the majority of the time all we are doing is straining our eyes to stare at an illuminated screen while our brain tries to process the shitload of (mostly) useless information we present to it. 

I am sure many of us can agree on the fact that the first thing we do when we wake up (maybe after brushing your teeth) is check our phones for notifications. The last thing we do before going to bed is browse through our phones. We sleep with our phones right next to us. Even when we are socializing or hanging out with our friends, it seems as though we struggle without our phones at arm’s reach. Because without our phones, we cannot document every single detail that is happening. Whether it is posting a cinematographic picture on Instagram or posting a video on snapchat, most of us feel the incessant need to document all the fun stuff happening to us. And for what reason? Sure maybe we just want to keep a make memories and thread a story on our profile, but it is also because we want all those likes and comments. Who doesn’t want to be complimented for taking “the perfect selfie”? Who doesn’t want to make their peers envious of a recent exotic trip to Greece?

That craving for all the likes and attention is exactly what is hurting our minds. It makes us feel insecure and anxious whenever we post something new. Our goal is to constantly top the number of likes incurred on the previous post and if that doesn’t happen, there are serious blows to our self-esteem. You may feel that you aren’t loved enough by your friends and family or you may feel that you aren’t getting enough attention as you expected. We feel like we are not living wholesome lives when we see our friends travelling a lot or we feel like we’re missing out if we haven’t watched the latest movie or attended the latest concert. Ultimately, our reality becomes distorted because of these unrealistic expectations we form seeing other people’s picture-perfect lives. It is so important to remember that the pictures/stories we see on social media are hand-picked and glamourized and therefore not accurate representations of real life. Once we realize that our lives are great as they are and not inadequate because we missed out on a trip (for example), we can feel much better about ourselves!

Sometimes, we see mean and derogatory comments on social networking sites and we may feel a sense of angst or hurt. We may get offended when we see dumb jokes or trolls that intend to poke fun (be it a religion, a person, a movie or whatever) and in effect, we become butthurt from comments made by total strangers. It may difficult to ignore them, but we should remember how petty these commenters are being. Their lives behind the screen are probably totally different to how they project it to us on-screen. It is best to ignore these comments and move on with our lives – if we can’t put them in their places.

Another adverse effect of social media on our mindsets is how we develop a FOMO. A fear of missing out. This is obviously the reason why we check our accounts up to a staggering 10 times a day. And when we do, we are disappointed to see that there isn’t much new on our newsfeeds. But, the answer to the question, “why is social media so addictive?” is simple enough. Self-disclosure activates the same part of our brain that lights up when you take cocaine or any other recreational/stimulating drug. In other words, self-disclosure activates the same part of the brain that is associated with pleasure – the same pleasure we receive from eating the food we like or receiving money. The activation of these pleasure zones is even greater when people are told they have an audience.

However addicting these online platforms may be, there is always a way to take a step back and clear your mind. I recently did a phone detox. I should honestly say that was the most peaceful week of my life, ever since I got a phone. I had no access to Instagram, twitter, whatsapp, buzzfeed etc… and I forced myself not to view these sites on my laptop or PC. That was easy enough because once you are used to the comfort of your phone, it seems like a hassle to login on your laptop. Anyway, the biggest refreshment I found during that one week (although my fingers seemed to be facing a deficiency of tapping away on the screen) is that I felt relaxed and I didn’t bother about what others were doing with their time, at all. Because I didn’t know where so and so went or what so and so did, I didn’t have that lacking feeling. I concentrated only on myself for the first time in years. Somewhere along the way, I became a slave to my phone and to these sites and I felt free, even if it were for a short time, when I just put them away. Sure, it is not very easy to do it if you expect a lot of calls every day or if you require you phone to make transactions etc… but there are always self-control apps that block the function of all the downloaded apps on your phone. I highly recommend doing this detox occasionally, because it declutters your mind and rejuvenates your thought process. There is a great feeling from being disconnected to something that shouldn’t be causing you so much stress.

You may point out the irony of this blog post. “You say all these things yet you are using Facebook to share your thoughts.” Yeah you are right. But the thing is, sometimes you have to use fire to fight fire. I cannot put across this message to the people I want to say this to unless I say it on a platform that everyone is bound to check at least once a day.  You don’t have to follow this advice even though I highly recommend it out of personal experience. Nevertheless, maybe today will be the day you decide to toss your phone out for a while. If you’re looking for some change and some decluttering in your life, don’t wait any longer! Just go for it!

--V

*I am not rude, I am outspoken.

Bullying in schools

Bullying is a very common and serious problem that teenagers face all over the world. It is something most people have been through in their school life and have tried to ignore, but many of the bullied have been mentally affected by all those comments and actions from the bullies. Ways of bullying may range from seemingly harmless jokes, comments and spreading rumors to pranking, verbal if not physical violence. If it is not taken seriously, the person affected by this can go into depression and isolate themselves from their peers and even their family. In the worst cases they can even go as far as to harm themselves or commit suicide.

Even though no reason can be significant enough to justify bullying, the main causes are prejudices and stereotypes created by our society and especially by this generation. One of the main groups of people who are victims of bullying in almost every school are the so-called nerds. These are the studious and (not necessarily) introverted students who do not indulge in ordinary high-school activities like gossiping or partying. These kind of people are ostracized by their peers and in some cases forced to help others to cheat in their classes for better grades. This is one of the main reasons for their low levels of self-esteem and distrusting nature.

Our modern body image is another cause for bullying of specific individuals. Being dark-skinned or overweight can make you victim of bullying in most schools as our generation idolizes “white”, skinny celebrities. In my opinion, this obsession over a fair skin complexion is like a hangover-effect from the colonial time. Anyone with this type of a figure and complexion are considered beautiful and those who do not fulfill these beauty standards are shunned. This often results in rude jokes, pranks and disrespect for the bullied person and this affects them mentally. They may even start disliking their bodies or themselves and may not feel comfortable in their skins.

In many private schools there is the problem that students, who stem from the middle-class or low-income earning families are discriminated and bullied. They are belittled because they do not have branded products or because their English sounds too “low-class”. The constant rude remarks and laughter that they experience may distract and completely demotivate them from studying or even focusing on their aims in life. Of course, not everyone can be generalized to this statement. Some people prove the others wrong by putting in their best efforts and achieving their goals, but they are exceptions.

Bullying, for whatever reason it may be, really impacts the lives of the bullied and the bullies. The bullied ones have difficulties with their own character and appearance as they wonder if it is their fault that everyone disrespects them. They have serious trust issues for a major part of their lives, are very defensive due to all these negative experiences and do not understand the value of their uniqueness. They try to get rid of their individuality and become “normal”, which can even lead to an identity crisis as they are not being accepted by their peers. The bullies do not understand the difference between respect and fear and live delusional lives until they realize their mistakes. They may never realize how the problems that they created in some other individual's life may have hurt and impacted them this deeply. They will never learn until they experience it themselves.

However we cannot generalize and say that bullies are always the “bad” ones in this story. Who knows what might have cause them to behave this way to others? They might have even been bullied or mishandled in the past. Maybe that is just how they let out all the anger, frustration or stress that has been pent up inside them. I know from my own experience that life can be very difficult and unfair. But it gives no one the right to treat another person without any respect or equality.

Some say that bullying can never be stopped and will always prevail in every school. I too agree with them, but only up to a certain extent. Of course bullying will not stop if no one takes any action against it. Of course it will never stop until we all realize that at some point in our lives we had been on either one side of this problem: the bully or the bullied. But it not enough to just realize this. Victims of bullying should acknowledge their strengths and weaknesses and not let themselves be defined by their peers. They should appreciate their individuality and empower themselves. The same way, when bullies realize what they have done, they should take a step towards respecting others and treating them equally. Most importantly, they should forgive anyone who was a reason for their attitude towards others and also forgive themselves.

– R

* I'm not rude, I'm outspoken.

An Open Letter to All My Haters

This is an open letter to all of the people in the world who spread so much negative energy. From bullies to gossiping and criticizing aunties. Those who find a problem for every solution. Those fakers who act like they like you but then bitch about you behind your back. This one is for all of you. :)

Dear haters,

I am sure there are many people who want to say many things to you. Sadly, these people lacked the courage to speak their minds. And maybe that’s a result of your comments and taunts. You may not have realized how your thoughtless comments affect others when you first utter them. But these said comments sometimes do have a very significant impact on your victims’ minds. More often than not seemingly insignificant remarks can go onto have very adverse and long-term effects on the mind.  It Lowers self-confidence. More anxiety. More insecurities. Bullies are the most evident haters that I can think of. Being bullied teaches you that you are undesirable – i.e. that you don’t belong and you don’t fit in. By virtue of the way that identity tends to work, you are being set up to believe that these things the bullies are saying about you are true. It would be great if the average person was possessed of unshakable self-confidence, but this just isn't how identity works.

I feel like all bullies have an endless repertoire of things they can use to rag people with. Calling people fat. Calling them skinny. Critiquing appearance (skin condition, colour) such as acist slurs. Inevitably, it is the sensitive kids who get singled out for teasing; the kids who cry easily; the kids who prefer to be alone than with the wrong company; the “geeks”; “the nerds”. It disgusts me to no end as to how stereotypes are taken so seriously by these haters. Just because you like comics that doesn’t make you a raging fanboy/girl who won’t talk about anything else. Just because you have glasses, doesn’t mean you are a scrawny nerd. And just because you are a nerd, doesn’t make you “uncool”. In fact – nerds are some of the “coolest” most passionate people in the world. It would do us so much good if we put aside our petty differences and judgements and actually embraced them. No one has the right to taunt or hate on another person because of his/her hobbies, interests, sexuality, race, religion, beliefs and/or appearance. There is no such thing as wrong size, wrong face, wrong skin color or even wrong personality.

Despite all of your intentions, I know that you (like everything else in this world) have a purpose. I want to thank you for teaching me a few things. Thank you for making me realize that loving myself for who I am is more important than fearing your opinions. Thank you for making me realize that I need not give a shit about anyone’s negative opinions of me. I know me more than you know me. We all have our insecurities and vulnerabilities. Plus, we’re only human. We don’t need to get it together every minute of the day. Everyone has bad days, right? And through those bad days I found out that it is up to me to recognize those few genuine people who love me. Over time, I have come to understand that the quality of my friends is so much more important than the quantity of the same. Those few people are the ones that are worth it all. Just like that I say thank you for being my greatest teachers about the power of words. Because of your words I choose mine carefully. Thank you for teaching me, though it has taken me years to learn, that just because someone says something about me does not make it true.

Learning not to give a shit about people’s opinions of you is tough. It may sound surprising to the carefree and nonchalant people out there but it is true. As someone who suffers from social anxiety, I find it difficult to explain why that is so. My brain goes into haywire mode and I end up overthinking and over analyzing every little remark. This leads to insecurity and it is a downhill spiral from there. Once or twice is tolerable. Anyone can understand a joke or a tease but saying it repeatedly makes us think what if it is actually true? You can say why do you care? Well of course I care! It is me you are talking about! I have self-respect and I care about my self-esteem. You can’t expect us to brush it off or take it lightly once it has already lowered our self-confidence. But now I know better. I don’t need to care about what you say about me to me or whoever. It is a slow process but I am learning that loving myself is more important than fearing your opinions of me. It takes time but I know that I can overcome my insecurities.

You have to realize by now that your thoughtless actions show your true colors and not mine. It shows how sad, petty, hateful and maybe even jealous you are. There is a thin line between joking around and actually being rude. The limits exist and what may seem funny to you may not be on the humorous side for me at all. I really wouldn’t know what turned you into a hater or what past experiences made you be like this. But I hope to god that he/she gives you the strength to overcome whatever the negative feelings you are feeling. At least for your victims’ sake if not for your well-being. I advise you change your attitude before it is too late. Before your cunning attitude affects or even ruins your future relationships. Before you can’t go back and before you lose something dear to you. There is absolutely nothing to gain from being spiteful and hateful. Be kind. Be thoughtful. Think before you speak because the saying that “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” is not really true.

Sincerely,

A victim

-         -- V 

*       *I am not rude. I am outspoken.

Gender stereotypes and perception in conservative families

Have you ever been surprised by how a friend of yours, who comes from a very conservative family, thinks? Did she/he sound narrow-minded or very sexist? Well, this may be because of the way they are brought up and because of their family traditions. Often, children, who grow up in very conservative families, are given only half-truths and have many misconceptions about (mostly) taboo topics. 

In the majority of conventional families, girls are not are not even aware that there is a natural process called the menstrual cycle. This leads to them freaking out when they get their first periods. Not only that, but they also feel very negatively about their body until they get used to their periods. They do not understand why they have to go through such a 'disgusting' process and are ashamed of themselves. They are, in my opinion, forced to follow certain procedures without getting an explanation as to why they have to do it. In most traditional families, they cannot have any physical contact with other people, clothes, they cannot sleep on the bed, they cannot enter the kitchen etc. They also do not feel comfortable when this topic comes up in their education, predominantly in biology, while learning about the reproductive system.

But girls are not the only ones affected by the incomplete information on periods, even boys are. They get a wrong perception on what girls have to go through and instead of being understand during this time, they mock girls who are on their periods and laugh about them. This only makes girls draw themselves back from any social interactions when they have their periods. They do not have the confidence to accept this natural process and get defensive by any comments boys make about periods, as though it is a bad thing.

The next fallacy is about interaction and relationships with the opposite gender. Here are some popular things, that traditional families say about boys to girls: they take advantage of you, you can't have any guy friends, all boys are bad and cunning, they always have an ulterior motive while interacting with you etc. All these judgmental comments create a long-lasting prejudice against men. This makes them look at all men as cheaters and rapists. However, teenage girls have an urge to bond with the opposite gender because of peer pressure and of course hormonal changes. This causes an internal clash, which makes them hide friendships and other relationships with boys to their parents/families. This leads to a lack of trust between them, which is a serious problem in the future.

As you all know, prejudices that girls have against boys affect both sides. Girls may have a false perception and an internal clash, but boys have emotions too right? How do you think innocent boys will feel, if we categorize all boys under 'evil' or even worse: 'rapists'? According to me, this is one of the main reasons for the aggressive behavior many boys show towards girls and also all the stereotypes that girls are given by them. We must not judge someone for something another person of the same gender does.

But most boys who grew up in traditional families are also in the same situation as girls. They are also have hormones and certain cravings, under which the urge to have a relationship is very predominant. But the biggest irony I've heard about is when a traditionally brought up boy has a younger sister. In most cases as such a boy thinks it is okay for him to have a relationship with a girl, but when his sister has the same wish, she isn't 'allowed' to. I understand that they have a natural instinct to protect their sisters, but can't they see the irony of the situation? What if his girlfriend has an elder brother, who thinks the same way as he does? This is something boys should really consider, while having a relationship. The way they behave with their girlfriend is the same as someone else may behave with their sisters.

I'm not against whatever conservative families say and the way they bring up their children. But in my opinion, many things that they preach do not apply to the modern society and culture. It affects the teenagers' perception of themselves and the other gender. I think we should be given the chance to form our own opinions, without being forced into following something. In the end, we may choose to follow what our families taught us, which is perfectly alright. But we have to be given the freedom of choice. It really helps clear stereotypes and prejudices. So the next time, think before you blindly judge someone and also how you would feel if someone does the same to you. Be open-minded.

– R

*I'm not rude, I'm outspoken.

The Importance of Empowering Women

Continuing from our recent string of blog posts, I want to now write succinctly about why it is important to empower women. It would be foolish to deny that the balance scale consisting women on one side and men on the other is tipped towards the men’s side. It is absolutely, undeniably true that women face a lot of discrimination and therefore, women empowerment is synonymous with feminism. Empowering women (it has a lot more purport to it than what Rahul Gandhi intends) means to authorize and give power, increase the position and status of women in all spheres of life. Women empowerment deals with creating a level playing field for both the sexes.

Empowering women is directly related to eliminating sexism and discrimination against girls. Sex discrimination in the work place could include not hiring a woman because the employer thinks that she won’t fit into a ‘traditionally’ or ‘typically’ male workplace, offering women different wages/pay for the same job that a man does, dividing tasks based on gender, not considering women for a particular project or role and even not promoting a woman to a higher position. These differences could result because of assumptions that a married woman or a mother may have higher priorities in her life than focusing on her career. Maybe there are assumptions that a woman cannot balance her home-life with her work-life. Whatever the reason may be, it is statistically proven that women earn less than men in their lifetimes. For every 1$ that a man earns, a woman earns only 70 cents. This is a truly disturbing fact because women are as capable as men, and the only thing stopping them is discrimination and inequality of the sexes.

Nursing, teaching, home science and childcare are often associated with being female-orientated jobs and thus there is often encouragement for women to embark on these career paths rather than say engineering, construction or military training. However, this is not to say that men don’t face similar kinds of preferential encouragement. You don’t find many male nannies (or ‘mannies’ as they are apparently being called) or many male nurses. This is probably because many years ago, when the need for these professions arose, the sexes were divided based on their inherent characteristics. For example, a female may be more well-suited to a childcare profession because they are associated with maternal characteristics and usually have more attachment to children (because they give birth). Along the same lines, men were probably chosen to do the heavy-lifting, physical work because of their muscular build and heavier bodies. Thus, it is probably pointless to argue why there are certain jobs that are concentrated more towards a particular sex. Nonetheless, it is nice to see many people defying gender based stereotypes and pursuing what they want regardless of what society dictates. The only way to abolish stereotypes is to break them. What do you do if your parents insist against being an engineer because it is a male dominated sector? Become an engineer. Don’t put yourselves into boxes. There are endless possibilities if you be yourself and do what appeases you.

Women in Indian film are more often than not are portrayed as damsels in distress. Helpless and cutesy characters that exist just to serve as eye candy and show the sweet romantic side of the hero. How many masala flicks have we seen that portray women in this light? What is even more shocking is that it is only of late that films are portraying women as mere show pieces. I don’t recall watching a film of Sridevi or Hema Malini that portrayed them as nothing but desperate eye candy. Sure, they may have danced racily in some sequences but their contribution and role in the film was on par with that of the male protagonist. That’s why it is so important that heroines start calling the industry out for nuisances like this. It is equally necessary that they don’t endorse sexist products such as fairness creams and slimming products and also that she doesn’t not agree to do item songs. It is things like this that portray women in a negative and inferior light, make viewers see women in the same way and all It does is bridge the gap between how each sex is seen. Moreover, the media should stop setting artificial and impossible standards of beauty. You are beautiful whether or not you are size zero. You are beautiful whether or not you have fair skin. You are beautiful whether or not you wear makeup. To the media: stop asking sexist questions and start asking existential questions to women on the red carpet too and not just about their diet and which designer they are wearing.

What distinguishes men’s achievements from women’s is simply the lack of opportunities presented to women. The lack of women in leadership positions speaks volumes of the failure of businesses around the world to address gender discrimination and establish a mixed gender leadership. It is so important to make sure that there is fair judgement and evaluation of a job offer and that no person is treated unfairly because of gender. One has to realize that there is so much untapped potential hidden in the women who are constantly discriminated against. Gender socialization begins at such an early age. Indirectly or directly, young girls are told that they should behave like fragile princesses and that is bullshit. Girls should have the right to behave however they want to! The sporting industry is a very good example of an industry that proves that women don’t need to be gentle. It is sadly also an apt example to show the bias against women in terms of opportunity and professional ranks. While men’s sporting teams are recognized nationally and even internationally, most people don’t even know any players of the women’s team in the same sport. Everybody knows Sachin Tendulkar but has anybody ever even heard of Anjum Chopra? It is not really the public’s fault though. We only have the media to blame and this lack of awareness and knowledge needs to change.

So at the end of the day, in order for women to gain more rights and be on par with men in the social ladder, we must collectively work together to empower women. There are so many ways in which this can be done. Create safe working environments by installing CCTV cameras in appropriate places. Provide more vocational and job training for women. Create more flexible and part-time jobs for women who wish to maintain a balance between their careers and families. By educating and informing women, we promote economic and social development. This also helps in the way that women are more informed about their rights and can defend themselves better in case of unjust activity. Men and women must raise their voices against any such act of gender inequality. Don’t be afraid to call people out for their wrongdoings. Women are just like men and they have all the rights in the world to have complete control of their lives both outside and inside the working place. Women should have equal status in the society and equal rights for social and economic injustice. However, it is important to also remember that we need the support of men too. Men can stand up for women as well because it is their own daughters, sisters, wives or friends that are discriminated against. Men can do so many things to support women: they can partake in an equal sharing of household chores, educate others about gender bias, challenge sexist remarks and jokes (The horrible ‘go make me a sandwich’ one especially) and even be aware of sexual consent.

Empower those girls around you but first accept and acknowledge that there is blatant sexism all around us. Fight in unison to abolish such disparities.

--V

*I am not rude, I am outspoken.