Gender stereotypes and perception in conservative families

Have you ever been surprised by how a friend of yours, who comes from a very conservative family, thinks? Did she/he sound narrow-minded or very sexist? Well, this may be because of the way they are brought up and because of their family traditions. Often, children, who grow up in very conservative families, are given only half-truths and have many misconceptions about (mostly) taboo topics. 

In the majority of conventional families, girls are not are not even aware that there is a natural process called the menstrual cycle. This leads to them freaking out when they get their first periods. Not only that, but they also feel very negatively about their body until they get used to their periods. They do not understand why they have to go through such a 'disgusting' process and are ashamed of themselves. They are, in my opinion, forced to follow certain procedures without getting an explanation as to why they have to do it. In most traditional families, they cannot have any physical contact with other people, clothes, they cannot sleep on the bed, they cannot enter the kitchen etc. They also do not feel comfortable when this topic comes up in their education, predominantly in biology, while learning about the reproductive system.

But girls are not the only ones affected by the incomplete information on periods, even boys are. They get a wrong perception on what girls have to go through and instead of being understand during this time, they mock girls who are on their periods and laugh about them. This only makes girls draw themselves back from any social interactions when they have their periods. They do not have the confidence to accept this natural process and get defensive by any comments boys make about periods, as though it is a bad thing.

The next fallacy is about interaction and relationships with the opposite gender. Here are some popular things, that traditional families say about boys to girls: they take advantage of you, you can't have any guy friends, all boys are bad and cunning, they always have an ulterior motive while interacting with you etc. All these judgmental comments create a long-lasting prejudice against men. This makes them look at all men as cheaters and rapists. However, teenage girls have an urge to bond with the opposite gender because of peer pressure and of course hormonal changes. This causes an internal clash, which makes them hide friendships and other relationships with boys to their parents/families. This leads to a lack of trust between them, which is a serious problem in the future.

As you all know, prejudices that girls have against boys affect both sides. Girls may have a false perception and an internal clash, but boys have emotions too right? How do you think innocent boys will feel, if we categorize all boys under 'evil' or even worse: 'rapists'? According to me, this is one of the main reasons for the aggressive behavior many boys show towards girls and also all the stereotypes that girls are given by them. We must not judge someone for something another person of the same gender does.

But most boys who grew up in traditional families are also in the same situation as girls. They are also have hormones and certain cravings, under which the urge to have a relationship is very predominant. But the biggest irony I've heard about is when a traditionally brought up boy has a younger sister. In most cases as such a boy thinks it is okay for him to have a relationship with a girl, but when his sister has the same wish, she isn't 'allowed' to. I understand that they have a natural instinct to protect their sisters, but can't they see the irony of the situation? What if his girlfriend has an elder brother, who thinks the same way as he does? This is something boys should really consider, while having a relationship. The way they behave with their girlfriend is the same as someone else may behave with their sisters.

I'm not against whatever conservative families say and the way they bring up their children. But in my opinion, many things that they preach do not apply to the modern society and culture. It affects the teenagers' perception of themselves and the other gender. I think we should be given the chance to form our own opinions, without being forced into following something. In the end, we may choose to follow what our families taught us, which is perfectly alright. But we have to be given the freedom of choice. It really helps clear stereotypes and prejudices. So the next time, think before you blindly judge someone and also how you would feel if someone does the same to you. Be open-minded.

– R

*I'm not rude, I'm outspoken.

The Importance of Empowering Women

Continuing from our recent string of blog posts, I want to now write succinctly about why it is important to empower women. It would be foolish to deny that the balance scale consisting women on one side and men on the other is tipped towards the men’s side. It is absolutely, undeniably true that women face a lot of discrimination and therefore, women empowerment is synonymous with feminism. Empowering women (it has a lot more purport to it than what Rahul Gandhi intends) means to authorize and give power, increase the position and status of women in all spheres of life. Women empowerment deals with creating a level playing field for both the sexes.

Empowering women is directly related to eliminating sexism and discrimination against girls. Sex discrimination in the work place could include not hiring a woman because the employer thinks that she won’t fit into a ‘traditionally’ or ‘typically’ male workplace, offering women different wages/pay for the same job that a man does, dividing tasks based on gender, not considering women for a particular project or role and even not promoting a woman to a higher position. These differences could result because of assumptions that a married woman or a mother may have higher priorities in her life than focusing on her career. Maybe there are assumptions that a woman cannot balance her home-life with her work-life. Whatever the reason may be, it is statistically proven that women earn less than men in their lifetimes. For every 1$ that a man earns, a woman earns only 70 cents. This is a truly disturbing fact because women are as capable as men, and the only thing stopping them is discrimination and inequality of the sexes.

Nursing, teaching, home science and childcare are often associated with being female-orientated jobs and thus there is often encouragement for women to embark on these career paths rather than say engineering, construction or military training. However, this is not to say that men don’t face similar kinds of preferential encouragement. You don’t find many male nannies (or ‘mannies’ as they are apparently being called) or many male nurses. This is probably because many years ago, when the need for these professions arose, the sexes were divided based on their inherent characteristics. For example, a female may be more well-suited to a childcare profession because they are associated with maternal characteristics and usually have more attachment to children (because they give birth). Along the same lines, men were probably chosen to do the heavy-lifting, physical work because of their muscular build and heavier bodies. Thus, it is probably pointless to argue why there are certain jobs that are concentrated more towards a particular sex. Nonetheless, it is nice to see many people defying gender based stereotypes and pursuing what they want regardless of what society dictates. The only way to abolish stereotypes is to break them. What do you do if your parents insist against being an engineer because it is a male dominated sector? Become an engineer. Don’t put yourselves into boxes. There are endless possibilities if you be yourself and do what appeases you.

Women in Indian film are more often than not are portrayed as damsels in distress. Helpless and cutesy characters that exist just to serve as eye candy and show the sweet romantic side of the hero. How many masala flicks have we seen that portray women in this light? What is even more shocking is that it is only of late that films are portraying women as mere show pieces. I don’t recall watching a film of Sridevi or Hema Malini that portrayed them as nothing but desperate eye candy. Sure, they may have danced racily in some sequences but their contribution and role in the film was on par with that of the male protagonist. That’s why it is so important that heroines start calling the industry out for nuisances like this. It is equally necessary that they don’t endorse sexist products such as fairness creams and slimming products and also that she doesn’t not agree to do item songs. It is things like this that portray women in a negative and inferior light, make viewers see women in the same way and all It does is bridge the gap between how each sex is seen. Moreover, the media should stop setting artificial and impossible standards of beauty. You are beautiful whether or not you are size zero. You are beautiful whether or not you have fair skin. You are beautiful whether or not you wear makeup. To the media: stop asking sexist questions and start asking existential questions to women on the red carpet too and not just about their diet and which designer they are wearing.

What distinguishes men’s achievements from women’s is simply the lack of opportunities presented to women. The lack of women in leadership positions speaks volumes of the failure of businesses around the world to address gender discrimination and establish a mixed gender leadership. It is so important to make sure that there is fair judgement and evaluation of a job offer and that no person is treated unfairly because of gender. One has to realize that there is so much untapped potential hidden in the women who are constantly discriminated against. Gender socialization begins at such an early age. Indirectly or directly, young girls are told that they should behave like fragile princesses and that is bullshit. Girls should have the right to behave however they want to! The sporting industry is a very good example of an industry that proves that women don’t need to be gentle. It is sadly also an apt example to show the bias against women in terms of opportunity and professional ranks. While men’s sporting teams are recognized nationally and even internationally, most people don’t even know any players of the women’s team in the same sport. Everybody knows Sachin Tendulkar but has anybody ever even heard of Anjum Chopra? It is not really the public’s fault though. We only have the media to blame and this lack of awareness and knowledge needs to change.

So at the end of the day, in order for women to gain more rights and be on par with men in the social ladder, we must collectively work together to empower women. There are so many ways in which this can be done. Create safe working environments by installing CCTV cameras in appropriate places. Provide more vocational and job training for women. Create more flexible and part-time jobs for women who wish to maintain a balance between their careers and families. By educating and informing women, we promote economic and social development. This also helps in the way that women are more informed about their rights and can defend themselves better in case of unjust activity. Men and women must raise their voices against any such act of gender inequality. Don’t be afraid to call people out for their wrongdoings. Women are just like men and they have all the rights in the world to have complete control of their lives both outside and inside the working place. Women should have equal status in the society and equal rights for social and economic injustice. However, it is important to also remember that we need the support of men too. Men can stand up for women as well because it is their own daughters, sisters, wives or friends that are discriminated against. Men can do so many things to support women: they can partake in an equal sharing of household chores, educate others about gender bias, challenge sexist remarks and jokes (The horrible ‘go make me a sandwich’ one especially) and even be aware of sexual consent.

Empower those girls around you but first accept and acknowledge that there is blatant sexism all around us. Fight in unison to abolish such disparities.

--V

*I am not rude, I am outspoken.